Thursday, December 18, 2008

Tiny Bubbles

Ok, so my wife shows me these blogs where the lame husband "hijacks" them and writes a bunch of mushy stuff about this or that. Well, I am hijacking the blog and adding this, pee your pants, funny video of my son floating some air biskets in the tub! Top that all you husbands trying to make me look bad in front of my wife! Make sure you stop the music at the bottom of this page and turn up your speakers so you can get the full effect. Seriously, you will thank me for it.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

"Attention, Child Protective Services. . ."

Okay, so I am completely LAME.  I am so far behind in blogland, there is so much to say I hardly know where to start.  But before Ade calls Child Protective Services I better share a very significant event in his life. . .the loss of his first tooth.  You would think that my first borns' loss of his first tooth would warrant immediate documentation but, alas, see above (the LAME part).  This even happened July 22nd, 2008, hey, at least I am still in the same year.

So here is Aiden and Quinn in the first attempt.  Our great friends from Twin, the McNeley's told us they used a kleenex to get some "traction" when pulling the girls' teeth out.  So Quinn pulled out the trusty kleenex--

To no avail.
All this pulling, tugging, wiggling was ridiculously traumatic.  Aiden was freaked, Quinn was frustrated and Ash was praying his teeth never get loose.  I was simply taking photos, videos, and giggling.  20 minutes later I was thinking this was taking way longer than necessary and I thought to myself, "what would Norm do?"  My dad was a great tooth puller--quick, easy, done!  Well, Norm used a little mini-plier thing.  I did not have one of these "gizmos" but I am a educated person in the "health care field" so I've got to come up with something.  Besides watching this MBA dude and a freaked out 6 year old was getting painful.  AhhhhHA. I had just the tool. . .curved hemostats and thanks to Tana I knew exactly where they were!

So I pulled them out and when Aiden got a glimpse of the tool he, 100%, WIGGED!!!  He tried to run away as Quinn was restraining him.  You, seriously woulda thought we were ripping his eyelashes out one by one.  As he is trying to escape Quinn's grasp like a little greasy pig trying to escape the bacon maker's hands, Quinn was getting aggroed!!!  So I intervened again. . .

Me, "EVERYONE RELAX!!!!"  (because now Asher is bawling his eyes out thinking  his big bro was going to meet a certain death).

Ash, Ade, "sniff, sniff, stifled inhale. . ."

Quinn, breathing in and out--nice and slow.

Me again, "Ade, just take a look at these."  He held them, inspected them, and decided they weren't a mid evil torture device.  

After some calming and distracting questions. . ."what do you think the tooth fairy pays for  a first tooth?"  BOOM-- it was out.  The look on Ade's face was priceless. . .he was shocked, waiting for the pain but it did not come.  He was starring at his tooth in my hand--stunned that it was out of his mouth and he was not dead.

So here he is, don't ya love the look of pure delight on his face.  If this is not evidence for CPS, I'm not sure what is.

The gap. . .

Notice the hemostats. . .that was a thing of beauty

And here are the bros. . I hope they are ALWAYS there for each other at times of trial.   Notice the glassy-I've-been-bawling-scared-for-my-brother-look in Asher's eyes.

Oh, by the way, the tooth fairy left 2 bucks.  I tired to tell Ade that the person who pulls it out gets a cut. . .he didn't go for it.  Nice try, mom.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Ohhh, Yes we did. . .

When Quinn told me we were going to the Poison concert I thought he was totally kidding.  I mean really, Poison??? I left my big hair, tight and ripped jeans, and all that thick make-up in the 80's.  So, off we went and suddenly I was transported back into 9th grade.  Ahhh, does Bret Micheals ever get old.  Ummmm, yep. . .or maybe that was me.  It was sooooooo freakin loud.  I was often plugging my ears to try and get some relief from the assault on my senses.
You can't see so well in these pics but Bret is sporting some ultra-tight stone washed parahna-chewed style jeans.  I'm pretty sure 1988 was on the phone. . .but clearly, he did not give the pants back. 

So here we are after the concert still "rockin" and our ears totally ringing.  Quinn was still complaining the next morning. . .not to bad for the "thirty-somethings."

Okay, so let's be totally honest here. . .I REAL  reason why I love the fair so much, YEP, the huge boost in self-confidence.  Just 5 minutes from my house and I am the a.) best mom, b.) style fashonista, and c.) sooo skinny.  This year I took photos for evidence.  (and really because it was pretty sneaky fun).   Warning:  further reading may result in the "train wreck" phenomena.

So this chick "looks" pretty normal but I was standing next to her (as I waited for my boys on the Ferris wheel) and she was talking to her kids like they were about 20 years old and her friends.  I was jaw-dropped stunned. . .she was going off talking about how she was going to "F@*$#* her up."  Over and over and over, huge f bombs along with all the other accessories that go with that type of explicits.  And these were 3 little BOYS she was relaying this story to (about ages 6, 9, and 11).  I could not quite starring at her completely stunned and revolted.  As she walked away and I stole the shot of her I was thinking about how thrilled I was that my boys would probably go to school with her kids who have a deranged view on how to behave and treat other people.
So, yea, after that display, I was pretty much a mom of the year candidate.

Yea, my mom jeans, clogs, and tee shirt were not looking as frumpy. . .

Do I really need to explain. . .What muffin?

So there ya go, the reasons I LOVE the fair.  I'll post some pics of freakin cute kids having a great time with their buddies at the fair.  But I had to pull the honestly card first!

Have a great day.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

No longer in denial. . .

I've been in such denial that my baby is now ONE.  Simply typing the words makes the throw-up creep up into my mouth.  I kept thinking if I did not post it, my baby would still be a baby and not a growing-way-too-fast-one-year-old!  But alas, I must face reality and accept that I will never have a little baby again.  And while I LOVE every stage my yummy little rugrats go through I especially LOVE the 3-12 month stages.  

So here's a little reflection. . .
I will never forget the entire operating room squealing, "IT'S A GIRL!"  Quinn and the anestheologist were the only males in the room and NOBODY knew the sex of our baby (including us).  They just knew that we had two bouncing boys at home.  

There was no one person that said it was a girl, just a chorus of squeals, the excitement was almost tangible.  Then there was Quinn and I, completely shocked. . .we only knew how to have baby boys.  The first thing I said was, "are you sure?"  and Dr. Huggins replied with a quick bottom side peak over the curtain.  Quinn looked at our little girl and the first thing he said was, "little girl, you are going to cost me a lot of money."  He was so right on!  What a perfect morning that was. . .my little 8 pound 8 ouncer born on the 8th day of the 8th month!

Pink signs. . .who knew.  A big thanks to the Armstorngs for starting out the color invasion!

So here is my little girl clapping along to the singing of Happy Birthday.  Thanks to Ade for assisting in blowing out the candle.

Was she into the cake???  Not so much.  Yep, she was pretty much annoyed by it.  Her OWN cake, chocolate with butter cream frosting in the shape of a flower. . .and all she can do is turn up her cute little nose!

Thanks for at least messing it up a bit, sissy.

Here are the party goers.  Grandma, Grandpa, Nana, Papa, Aunt Sue, Uncle Kev, Val, Taylor, Heather, Issac, the Birds, and the Armstrongs.  I think the Bird's won the most innovative-we-know-this-little-girl-gift.  They brought Ava a giant bag of Sonic ice!!!  And we all know how she (and her mom) loves Sonic ice!

This is a little guitar/cart thing from grandma and grandpa.  Ava thought it was more fun to have Macie pull her around in the cart.  It was a really fun night and I didn't even cry.  Thanks to everyone for coming and helping Ava celebrate!


I mean really, first grade. . .what am I going to do when it's 8th grade.  So here is the story, Ade comes home yesterday and seems to be on the verge of a complete meltdown.  Being the wise mom I just assumed this was more about a lack of sleep due o the night before's family home "skievening".  Aiden is rarely emotional.  So I should have caught on that there was something more going on.  

So we sit down to do homework and the waterworks begin.  I was totally taken back. . .whooooaaaa what the crap.  All he could say was, "but mom my 6's aren't PERFECT!!"  WHAT, perfect 6's???  Who knew.  I investigated and thought the 6's looked great, but I am the impartial mom.  I showed Ade how I write the number 6 and we looked at his work from earlier in the day (which he got 100%) and they looked the same.  He kept arguing with me.  I had to look him in the face and  tell him that "even though I was not a teacher, I am a college graduate and I know how to write a SIX!"  

30 minutes and many tears later I was almost over the edge so, yep, day 8 and I'm calling the teacher.  (Call me a helicopter mom, I don't care, this was serious business. . .heehee)  Well, the real story comes out.  The class had a "test" today on the 50 in a minute thing.  Aiden has been practicing every day and doing very well.  So today he did not pass and the kids that passed got a licorice rope. . .AHHHHHHHHHHH.  All this sadness and drama over a DAMN licorice rope.  Someone get Twizzlers on the line!  He finished the test in time but the teacher aides did not pass him cause some of his numbers were "sloppy."  So we went to work on 2's, 4's and 0's.  

I LOVE how supportive Asher is being, right there watching every swipe of the pencil.  And he would intermittently go get Ade a fresh Kleenex.

Notice the Kleenex and red eyes.

Amazing that even though I now knew the source for this sad face, it still broke my heart.  So an hour and a half, 3 columns of practiced 2's, 4's, and 0's, and countless hugs and praises the sadness was over.  Braxton to the rescue and it was time to PLAY!!!

I love you, Ade, OCD or not!!!!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Who needs husbands anyway. . .

So last night I asked Quinn to put together this cool new laundry "butler" sorta thing.  I knew full well he would "forget" but I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.  We all know "Call of Duty" is much more important. . .but alas I held out hope.  This morning I headed out to the gym and passed right by my new butler STILL IN THE FREAKING BOX. . .shocker.

So here I am with my two little "helpers" assembling away.  Now we all know how easy it is to put something together with 4 extra hands finding stuff for me and rearranging my piles.

Yes, this would have been much more difficult to do the night before without these little rugrats assistance.

But an hour and a half later here's what I had. . . taaadaaa.  I mean really, if it weren't for that whole eternal thing. . .husbands???

So while I am on the whole "I'll-do-it-myself-pitty-party"  I'll show you what else I did today. . 
Yep, the one on the right is 100% full of weeds.  Welcome to the ghetto.  We are pretty much white trash and I could NOT stand it a moment longer.  Asher and Ava were "helping" me for a while.  (I'm pretty sure there was more dirt on them than in the entire garden)  Anyway, then Ash went to play at Evan's and Ava went down for a nap.  Then Chris Daughtry and I had some quality time together!  Such great therapy, getting dirty with Mr. Daughtry blaring in my ears.

So I'm pretty sure if I pulled weeds more often than twice a summer I would reap more than just this. . .

I've concluded that gardens are just there to mock me and make me feel even more inadequate.  Damn, gardens and husbands. . .I really need a Diet Coke and maybe a trip to Nordstorm and the Apple store.

Friday, August 29, 2008

This is COOL. . .

Here is my baby GIRL. . .watching intently. . .

Here is what she was watching. . . 

And here is what she was doing. . .

That's right, this girl is smart.  She knows a good thing when she sees it.  I was very excited today to watch Sen. McCain's announcement.  Although, I had no idea who Sara Palin was or really much about her politics.  I did know she was a conservative, educated mom who runs her kids to hockey practice and doesn't put up with any crap back at the office.  I do know that I was getting a little sick of the conservative "good ole' boys club."  And I'm glad to see a little GOP shake up.

But what I'm most excited about is this, here was my baby girl sitting on my lap as we watched Gov. Palin give her speech, and she was waving and clapping at the T.V.  It struck me. . .in a few years when I tell her she can be anything she wants to be I will be telling the whole truth.  Because now here is a great example for her.  I also appreciated the example of Hilary Clinton (much to my husband's and in-laws dismay), although I did not agree with her politics I appreciated her education and tenacity to show young girls that they can achieve anything they want.  But now Ava can look at Gov. Palin and see someone who is an accomplished woman and mother of FIVE, and believes in individuals taking responsibility for themselves, who also believes a woman's "choice" is when she "chooses" to have sex, not when she is dealing with the consequence of that choice.  Politics aside, right or left aside. . .we all know women are much better at multitasking than men.  So on that note, GO MCCAIN/PALIN!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Bye, Bye, Babies. . .

New backpack and school supplies packed and labeled. . .Check!

New (ridiculously expensive) Star Wars tee and new z strap-blue-and-red-with-an-A-on-the-toe-size 13-painfully-hard-to-find-Sketchers. . .Check!

In bed by 10:00 (yes, P.M. Jenn). . .Check!  (what binkie?)

Falling asleep even though 5 minutes ago you were doing the "sooo excited" dance. . .Check!

Mom, with a huge lump in her throat and throw-up in her mouth. . .freakin check!

Can you stand it??? Cause I barely can, my baby started FIRST FREAKING GRADE today.  Really. . .ALL day school, it's so lame.  My little man is gone all day.  He was soooooo excited.  Last night we got all prepared. . .stuff laid out, toe nails and finger nails clipped, lots of chatting about mom's first grade experiences (foggy, very foggy), a blessing from dad, and lots of hugs, kisses, and I love yous.  It really was fun and exciting.  

I actually had to wake Ade up this morning but he bounced right out of bed and got dressed.  He also decided "eggs and bacon were a better choice this morning."  After he ate (a little bit) he told me his "tummy was sick."  Hmmm, maybe he had the mom flu, so nervous you want to barf.  But he settled down pretty quickly and kept asking me "is it time to yet" about 150 million times.  So finally a little hair gel, hugs from dad,  and about a thousand photos later we were off. . .

On the drive to school Ade told me he was "pretty nervous"  I didn't tell him how nervous I was and that I was biting the crap out of the inside of my cheek so I didn't cry.  Just  a little "it's going to be sooo great, buddy."  Seemed a bit more appropriate!

I was doing pretty good even at this part. . 

But the kiss and hug goodbye at his desk was a bit rushed.  Must-not-let-him-see-me-cry. . .-so-hard. . .ahhh made it to the door!  Yep, that's me, the lame mom snapping photos from the doorway.  And yes, I did finally leave and go home AND I still had space on my memory card, so there!

So here I am back at home. . .nurse Ava. . .check.  Empty dishwasher. . check

Asher wants cereal. . .get bowls down. . .check   WHAT bowlSSSS.  Oh no, there would be only ONE this morning.  That moment of seeing that one empty SLC Winter Olympics bowl (Asher always get the Spiderman bowl and Ade has come to accept that) was almost more than I could stand.  The rest of the morning went that way.  That "something is missing" feeling.  And the "where's Ade" thoughts.  Weird.  

But then we got busy, who knew fresh vacuum lines could be so therapeutic??  And Ash had his first (for this year) "ginastics" class.  So we busted off to gym.  He had a great time, his buddies, Spencer and Evan are in class with him.  Does it get any better?  Your 2 best buddies, a big open gym, a bouncy mat, and a tramp. . .I'm pretty sure that is Asher's "a Sonic right next door" moment.

So great gym class, lunch with friends. . .I was doing pretty good.  

Then this happened. . .

Yep, ASHER'S FIRST DAY OF PRESCHOOL.  The prosac Gods sure did some poor planning. . . I mean really a twofer?  My blue-eyed baby at preschool.  Can you even stand how freaking cute he is in his over-priced Star Wars tee?

On the short drive to his preschool I had the hugest lump in my throat and was drinking Diet Coke like Pepsi was taking over tomorrow.  Then we got there and I went around to get Ash out of his side.  I wish I had a picture of his face when I opened that door.  These 2 HUGE blue eyes with such a sparkle staring back at me with a giant "I'm sooooo excited" anticipatory grin on this yummy little face.  I hope I have this image burned in my mind because it was delightful.  Anyway, that moment made all my sadness go (temporarily) away.  I was so happy for Ash, he was getting his turn and he was psyched!

My little baby boy and his killer "skatewer shewwwes."

 Smashie. . .he did not hesitate even for a second, I was so proud of him!

All in all it was a great day but I am spent/done/wiped.  And my babies, they are pretty beat too.  But the important thing is we ( and by we, I mean ME) made it!!!  I'm still wishing for my Ltivo, I so wish I could pause our Life. . .just for a few years, I mean, really is that too much to ask?

Have a great day,